How Did You Know?
by River Tam
Summary: [Updated] What was supposed to be a nice little trip into parenthood turned out to be a disastrous event that even Naoki couldn't prevent. Between Kotoko's medical history and clumsiness, he wasn't sure what was going to be the death of him first.
1. How Did You Know?

AN: Slightly different than the anime, but still the same premise. Trying to follow along with the episode.

**How Did You Know?**

Kotoko stared at the screen, watching the man's vitals as they blipped by. She was timing them because one of the other nurses had asked her to. It seemed like a foolish task, but there wasn't much else she could do about it. Marina hovered behind her, listening to the absent-hearted beeps from the monitor. As Kotoko furiously scribbled down the results, Marina stepped over and watched. "How are things with you and Dr. Irie?"

Kotoko looked up, silence in her voice when she smiled softly. "We're okay," _the distance is unbearable,_ she wanted to add but felt against it. "He's really busy working on his papers for classes. We don't talk much."

"Doesn't he avoid you at work? It's like you're not even married," Marina commented, seeing Kotoko's hand tense on her pen. "I'm not overstepping my boundaries, am I?"

"No, it's fine," Kotoko looked at the simple gold band on her finger and sighed quietly. As usual, she had one of her ever-ready excuses. "Irie-kun doesn't bother with me at work because he feels that if I get distracted, people will get hurt." Her mind flashed back to Keita and the pain she put him through trying to get a blood sample. She began to think of Naoki as well, and how he'd been avoiding her that time.

"It sounds like a reasonable answer," Marina scooped up the clipboard in her hands and started to head towards the door. Kotoko followed like a lost puppy behind her. "Don't you ever wonder if he really loves you?"

Kotoko knew the answer; she'd shared the bed with him every night. Though they never cuddled, she knew he was just a distant person at heart. Quietly shuffling through the halls with Marina, they stopped by the nurses' station and dropped off the paperwork as requested. "These conversations with you get more and more jealous, Marina. It seems as if you're trying to make me second-guess everything I do."

"Not intentionally," The woman replied, slipping another clipboard from the counter and paging through it. She caught a glimpse of Naoki and wondered if he was aware they were talking about him. "Have you seen Tomoko as of late? She was going to get coffee with me later." Marina asked, quickly changing the subject so Naoki wouldn't suspect them.

"Tomoko? I believe she went back to check on a little girl in room 34, but that was over an hour ago." Kotoko briefly noticed Naoki, but she didn't speak until he was gone again.

_He's busy…don't bother him…this is his dream, not yours. _Kotoko sternly warned herself.

"We should get this last run done before we head to the cafeteria," Marina finally stated to Kotoko, seeing the sudden sadness wash over the woman when her husband walked by her again without a word. "Just a request for some clean sheets in room 28," Marina murmured then stared at Kotoko. "Can you handle it by yourself or do you need my help?"

"No," She began to toy with her fingers, lacing and unlacing them. "I can get it done. You can go meet Tomoko, I won't hold you up. You guys are probably going to be talking about me anyway."

"We're concerned for you." She replied and smiled softly. "You should go take care of that. I hear Mrs. Edigawa doesn't like waiting for her clean linens."

* * *

Kotoko stopped by the hall closet and looked for the stack of ever-present sheets. One nurse was in charge of doing them every day, but the rotation always changed. Kotoko had to do them last Wednesday, so she knew how the cycle worked. Standing on her toes, she grabbed the corner of a sheet and the rest came toppling down. The weight of twenty sheets knocked her slightly off balance and she knocked her head into the shelf behind her. "Maybe I should have asked Marina to come with…she is taller than me…"

Naoki had been walking by when he heard the thud in the closet. Blinking several times, he stopped and watched Kotoko struggling to unwrap herself from the sheets. "Kotoko, don't you take anything seriously? You've been more scatterbrained than usual."

"I'm sorry, Irie-kun, I'm just really busy. You go ahead and do what you have to do. I'll be fine." She knew he wasn't offering to help, but she threw it out there just on the off chance that there was some slight sincerity in his words.

He reached down and took her hand in his, pulling her to her feet. After that task was completed, he took the sheets and handed them to her after folding them. "You need to pay attention. Someone will get hurt if you don't stop mixing house affairs with work."

"That's not what I keep doing!" She shouted, stomping one foot on the ground as if having a temper tantrum. "I'm not thinking about home! I'm thinking about the little woman with cancer in room 28 and how she needs sheets!"

"And you believe that lie?" Naoki murmured. "Whatever gets you through the day, Kotoko." He laughed as he walked away, wondering where her head was at.

Kotoko defiantly followed behind him for some time before noticing that room 28 was on her left, and Naoki went to the right. She split directions and went into room 28, fixing the sheets while the woman was out. Smoothing the sheets into place, she stood straight and admired her handy work. Dizziness swept over her briefly and she placed her hand to her forehead, steadying herself on the bedside table. Naoki stopped in the hallway to watch her, raising a brow at her actions.

_Perhaps she did a little more damage than I previously thought when she fell , _he told himself.

Kotoko idly ran her hand along the wall as she made her way to the cafeteria, noting the odd looks absently. She answered most of them with a curt nod, as if saying good morning to an old friend. After ordering her salad, she sat at the table and stared at it.

"Why aren't you eating, Kotoko?" Tomoko asked when she set her tray down beside the other group of girls. She watched Kotoko push her salad around with her fork, only sampling a few leaves at a time. It wasn't like her to be this disoriented. "Did you have another fight with Dr. Irie?"

"He called me scatterbrained," She growled slightly and nibbled on another leaf in anger. "I know I'm a bit whimsical, but I'm not scatterbrained!"

"Kotoko, I know you're upset with him, but at least try to eat, okay?" Marina pleaded, looking to the older red-headed woman. She was, indeed, a bit ill looking. Perhaps it was just a cold.

"Kotoko," Naoki stopped at the table the gang sat at, and stared at his wife with a cold expression. "I'm sorry for what I said earlier. If I had known you would have taken it to heart, I would have thought of something else to say." He paused and smiled to the other girls briefly before making his way back through the crowd. _I wonder if I should keep an eye on her…that stunt in the room wasn't just nothing._

Watching her husband come and leave like he never was, Kotoko began to wonder. "Irie-kun…" Her quiet words drifted away as she looked back down at her salad and nibbled another leaf absently. "He seems a little…distant," she murmured. "He never says sorry…"

"It's been an all around strange day," Motoki murmured into his glass of water. He noticed Kotoko's absent-minded touch to her forehead again and a wince of pain. "Kotoko, why not go see the head nurse?"

"I just have a headache, he does that to me sometimes. It's so hard figuring out what his intentions are. Why would he say he loves me only to make a fool of me in front of the whole building?" Kotoko groaned and let her head fall on the table. "I wonder if he's sincere…"

"Kotoko! Don't do that, you'll hurt yourself!" Motoki sternly warned her.

"Maybe if I do hurt myself, he'll finally notice that I need him around." Then the thought occurred to her that he had other patients he had to see too. _You're marrying a man who plans to be a doctor…have a little more self-awareness._ She groaned again and closed her eyes absently. "I feel like my world is falling apart without any way to stop it."

"Kotoko, what's with this sudden depression?" Tomoko asked curiously. "Are you feeling okay? You haven't really eaten, either."

"I fell and hit my head earlier," The woman murmured. "It's just a little bit of a headache."

* * *

The head nurse spoke to the red-head with such ferocious words that she wasn't even sure she was speaking of the same Kotoko that was absent minded. "Kotoko, the Internal Medicine is short on nurses, I'd like you to go over and help out, okay?"

Kotoko went to speak but froze. "Ma'am…why me…?"

"You're the wife of our best doctor! I know you won't let us down. Please head over there as soon as possible."

Kotoko wandered through the halls, blushing at the fact that she'd been called Naoki's wife, most people just recognize her for being a nurse, but never as Naoki's wife. She paused when she heard talking and looked over to the source. A bunch of women were walking through the hall, discussing politics. Kotoko blinked and shook her head slightly. Her honey-brown eyes gazed at the floor, quietly lost in thought until she felt herself collide with something hard and fleshy. She brought her eyes to gaze at the collision and blinked. "I-I-Irie-kun!"

Her stuttered words went almost unnoticed when he touched her forehead. "You're running a fever, Kotoko."

She paused and brought her hand to her forehead to feel. "I just have a headache, I fell in the closet earlier. Why are you here?"

"I'm a doctor, is it not my job to be where I'm needed?" He asked sternly, his narrow eyes watching her. "Kotoko?" She didn't answer him, concerning him slightly. Any other time she had a sarcastic response to his sarcastic words. Her eyes began to close slightly. "Kotoko…?" He blinked and reached over, grabbing her around the waist and pulling her to the bench, sitting her down. "Have you eaten at all?"

"I had a few bites of salad," she replied, looking away from him. "Are you concerned about me? You shouldn't be…I'm just scatterbrained."

"Kotoko, I'm concerned because you almost passed out on me there. We should take you to the head-nurse and get you the day off so you can rest." Naoki commented, hearing fast-paced footsteps in the hall. "Nurse Shizuka, what's wrong?"

"There's an emergency, a little boy who's fading in and out of consciousness." The woman panted, trying to catch her breath.

"I'm going there now," he lit into a run, looking back to see Kotoko following him. It was the first time in a while that they were working the same room together, this time he could properly keep an eye on her condition. His pace slowed when he got to the exam room, where a half-naked child lay on the table. After the examination, he looked to Kotoko sternly. "Kotoko, ready the equipment."

She nodded and began to prepare for what needed to be done. "Done, Dr. Irie."

"It's going to hurt him, so make sure you hold him down." Naoki commanded as he began the procedure. The little boy began to thrash about, causing Kotoko to lose grip. "What are you doing? You're not holding him down correctly!" Kotoko blinked and tackled the boy's feet again, only to be shoved out of the way by the mother.

"Takashi! Hang in there, Takashi! Mommy's here!"

Kotoko stood in the corner, watching the mother hold her child with all her might until the procedure was finished. When Naoki turned away, the woman grabbed her child and held him close. Kotoko felt a brief envy for the woman. Even if it was brief, it was still a feeling she hadn't had in a long time. Naoki gave her a glare when the woman left, standing in front of her for a long time. "Kotoko, you're a nurse. Your duty is to be a nurse, whether you can or not."

Kotoko raised a hand to her forehead again and stared over at him. "I'm sorry, Irie-kun, he was too strong for me…" She gently laid her hand against his chest to steady herself from the oncoming dizziness again. He sighed and moved her hand away. "Irie-kun…I'm sorry."

"You're lucky he survived, Kotoko. He could have seriously hurt himself thrashing around like that." He paused when he saw her slide down the wall slightly. He figured she was just afraid of his confrontation. "Kotoko, I expected more from you." He turned to walk away, not looking back at her.

Kotoko's head began to swim, she found it difficult to stand upright. "Irie-kun…" But he kept walking. She took a deep breath this time. "Naoki!"

He froze, not used to hearing her call him by his first name. Since they'd met, it'd always been _Irie-kun_, even after they married. He moved his hands from his pockets and turned to see her wavering. "Kotoko?" Closing the distance between them, he held his hand to her forehead. "Kotoko, are you okay?"

She shook her head and closed her eyes tight, her brown eyes fluttered open to show him her pain, only to close and then she saw nothing but darkness.

* * *

Naoki sat by the bed and watched her sleep, his hand resting on his chin. She was sleeping so peacefully, but he couldn't seem to put the symptoms together correctly. For now, the head nurse just told him to make sure she rested, and didn't try to work the rest of the night. She hadn't been sleeping well, so he'd assumed she was likely running on less sleep than him, and the fatigue caught up with her. He gently touched her hand and closed his eyes. "Kotoko…"

"Dr. Irie?" A frail voice met him from the hallway, stepping into the room for a moment. "Can we talk for a few minutes?"

"Of course, Tomoko. What's wrong?" Naoki asked, standing to his feet as he went to close the door.

"I'm concerned about Kotoko. She's been acting very strange lately. She was sick yesterday, but she told me not to worry about it. It continued into this morning, but she said it was likely just something she ate. Then today, at lunch, she wouldn't eat at all." Tomoko paused and looked up at him. He seemed to be lost in thought.

His lavender eyes stared at hers for a long time, trying to put together the underlying message and missing pieces. "I think she's got the flu, but I can't be so sure. She hit her head earlier, so that accounts for the dizziness…"

"You're a doctor, and you don't know what's wrong with your wife?" Tomoko inquired.

"Admittedly, I don't see her that often at work. We rarely even work the same floor. I don't know what happens to her throughout the day, so if she's sick, I only find out from you or the head nurse. But thank you for your concern, Tomoko. I'll keep an eye on her."

* * *

"Irie-kun, I'm sorry about earlier," Kotoko managed to blurt out as they walked unsteadily down the halls. It was passed six in the morning, and the woman with the child had checked out around midnight when they got called out again. They had just dealt with the last case for the night and both had changed from their scrub gowns and into something much more decent for walking home.

"You were scared," Naoki murmured, his hand jammed into his green jacket. "Else you wouldn't have called me _Naoki_."

"You noticed…?" She whispered absently, watching the sun come up.

"I always notice, even if I'm a little bit slow figuring out something's wrong. How's your head?" He inquired, kissing her forehead softly.

"Better, but not completely finished swimming around. I think the fall was what made it worse," She casually murmured and looked up when they reached the house. Kotoko stepped inside first, watching him outside. "Are you coming in, Irie-kun?"

"I will in a bit, I'm just admiring the sunrise." He whispered, seeing her walk inside.

_She's alright now, but earlier she seemed so tired. And Tomoko said that she was feeling ill this morning, I wonder if she has the flu…but her fatigue wouldn't explain much. Why did she pass out? Was she weak? Perhaps she's anemic. But now that I think about it, doesn't all of this match with one particular case…? _Naoki's eyes widened when the realization hit him.

"I'm home!" Kotoko called out, falling onto the couch. She stared up as her mother in law walked in with tea. "Thank you, mom."

"Kotoko, how are you feeling? Onii-chan called earlier to say you were ill and may not be coming home. Are you feeling any better?" She inquired, watching the younger woman run a hand through her hair.

"I'm alright, thank you for asking." Kotoko answered, wondering where Naoki was.

"You still seem a bit flushed," Mom answered, staring at Kotoko quietly.

"I do have a slight fever still, but Irie-kun said it's nothing to be concerned with. I think I might have a cold." She smiled to the elder brunette and watched her concerned expression change slightly.

"I'll go get you some medicine," She answered.

The door in the hallway closed, and Kotoko looked up at the noise. "Wait," Naoki commented, looking down at Kotoko when he stopped. "Kotoko, aren't you pregnant?"

Kotoko gingerly touched her abdomen and looked up at Naoki. "Tomoko asked me that as well. You're the doctor…am I?"

He looked at his watch, his serious demeanor never faltering for a moment. "It's six, the earliest we can get to the gynecologist is at nine…why don't you get some rest until then?" He took her gently by the elbow, leading her up the steps. "You haven't been sleeping much, I imagine that's why you blacked out on me earlier."

She nodded and smiled to the family for a brief second before entering the bedroom and falling onto the bed. She didn't bother to change, or to cover herself with the blanket, she just fell asleep as soon as her body hit the mattress. Naoki blinked and picked her up, laying her on the bed correctly, then pulled the covers over her frail body before kissing her gently on the lips. "Goodnight, Kotoko. I'll see you in a few hours."

* * *

"Irie-kun, I can't find my jacket," Kotoko announced, digging through the closet. She was still tired, and very much concerned for why Naoki was avoiding her. She pulled down a jacket and put it on, shrugging her shoulders into the warm fabric. He wasn't in the bedroom, where else would he have gone? Looking around, she paused when she saw a shadow pacing in the kitchen with a medical book in his hands. "Irie-kun? What are you reading?"

"Uh?" He looked at her and smiled. "I was just wondering what to expect. Trying to piece together all the symptoms." He smiled softly at her. "Are you ready to go? Mom is going to go with us, if you don't mind."

Kotoko shook her head with a bright smile. "I don't mind at all, Irie-kun." She laid her head against his shoulder when he led her outside. "What if it's another false alarm?" Kotoko asked sadly.

"I'm pretty positive that I'm right," He murmured with a yawn. It dawned on her briefly that he hadn't slept yet. He'd been working a two day shift with only an hour of rest while she was in the nurses' lounge. She could see that his lavender eyes were determined to know the truth, but for what purpose? Why did he seem as though he was angry about the outcome?

"You won't be angry if it's a false alarm?" His mother asked absently as she walked beside them in silence. "Onii-chan, I know how much this would make your father happy, but…don't feel forced to keep trying if it's a false alarm."

"That's not why we did this," Naoki snapped. "I did it because I love my wife, and it was her birthday, that was what she wanted."

Although he said _that's what she wanted_, Kotoko felt strangely relieved. She'd never heard him say that he loved her out loud in front of other people. Not with such ferocious passion in the words. "Irie-kun," She whispered as they almost passed the building. "Irie-kun! The building is this way…"

"Ah. Sorry." Naoki blushed lightly remembering the night they had spent together on her birthday, tangled in each other's arms, holding each other as close as possible. The embraces, kisses, looks…all if it flooded back to him almost at once. Then the thought occurred to him that he'd likely never be able to do that again if they had a child. He was almost angry with the fact.

"Nao-chan!" The woman offered him a slight nod. "I haven't seen you since you were a mere child. How did your studies go? I heard you were going to become a doctor." The woman paused and observed Kotoko, holding her hand to her mouth. "This must be your wife, Kotoko. I remember meeting you before."

"Yes," Naoki whispered. "Can we talk after the examination? I'd like to know for sure what's wrong with Kotoko before she gets sick again."

Kotoko shot him a glare, but a small smile crept to her features. He was concerned for her. That was a major plus. The woman led them into the examining room, asking Naoki's mother to stay outside in the waiting room.

The exam was quick, but very thorough. After the woman had finished, she smiled at Kotoko. "I'll need to take a blood sample, just to test and make sure you're not anemic. It's something most pregnant women are at risk for." After the blood was drawn, the woman looked to Naoki. "You still don't seem satisfied, Nao-chan."

"Is it too early for an ultrasound?" Kotoko hadn't even thought of asking, which was a bit unfair since she wanted to.

She nodded to Naoki. "No, it's never too early. I can't tell you the gender, but you'll be able to see him or her for the first time."

As the woman set up the equipment, Naoki took Kotoko's hand and kissed it gently, looking to the monitor. It was still black, but the screen started to flicker on. Nothing was on it yet. He smiled down to Kotoko and waited. The doctor hadn't made a decision yet, she never clarified the outcome, so he wanted to see the child himself before he believed her word. When the image came onto the screen, his breath caught. "Ko…toko…" He looked over at her, her smile was as wide as his, but hers was more excitement than wonder.

"Irie-kun…" She looked up at him and noticed the slight watery texture in his eyes. She wanted to say something, but nothing came to her. "Can…I get a picture?" The doctor nodded and printed out a few copies, handing them to Kotoko. "Thank you."

* * *

"So," Naoki's mother inquired outside the office. "What's the result?"

The two lovers exchanged glances and Kotoko held up her fingers. "Three months." She paused and thought about it. "Just shy, actually. 11 weeks, to be almost precise."

"Naoki-Chan! Kotoko-Chan! Congratulations!" The woman gave both of them a hug before smiling and letting go. "Now…about names…"


	2. Idiot

**Idiot**

Kotoko tapped a pen to her lip, sitting hunched over the desk in the bedroom. She was scribbling down words but the light kept anyone from seeing what she was writing. In the distance, Naoki watched with a silent fascination. He peered over at his older wife and raised a brow. "What are you writing, Kotoko?"

Startled, she dropped the pen and slammed the notebook shut. "It's, uh…nothing."

"Are you going to work today? It's two in the morning. You should be sleeping." He knelt down in front of her and touched her abdomen gently. While she wasn't showing yet, he could still imagine what it would be like when she did. He still gingerly touched her as if she was made of glass. "Mother will be worried if you don't go."

"I took the day off to get some things done," She commented absently. "I have a pre-natal appointment at twelve, so I was hoping maybe you could get some time off and—"

"Yes."

"You don't even know what I was going to ask!" Kotoko shouted.

He smiled. "You were going to ask me to come with you to your appointment. The answer is yes."

She held out the notebook to him, smiling as if it was a sacrifice. "I was thinking of names."

Opening the book, he stood up and started to read through the list. "Kira, Kiyomi, Ana, Ashley, Marina, Rei, Usagi…" Quietly, his lavender eyes shifted to her gaze. "These are all girls' names. What if it's a boy?"

"Simple!" She answered excitedly. "Naoki!"

He smiled and handed her the notebook back. "I think I should be able to think of the boy's names. Is that okay?"

"You just suck the fun out of everything, don't you?" She commented quietly, putting the notebook back on the desk and looking away. "Fine, you can pick the boy's names. But if it's a girl, we use my name."

"I wouldn't want a daughter named Kotoko. One of you is enough."

"NO! The name I pick out!" She sighed and hit her head on the desk in exhasperation.

"Hey," He commented, kneeling down again to touch her face gently. "Don't do that."

"Are you worried about me?"

"No, but if you knock yourself unconscious, you could hurt the baby." With that, he stood and left the room, going to prepare for bed. "Come back to bed, Kotoko."

* * *

Naoki and Kotoko never slept facing each other. It was odd, but they always faced different directions. He never held her in his sleep, he barely even looked at her when she was sleeping. Every so often she could catch him sitting at his desk, working on his thesis, watching her with a content smile. She stirred uncomfortably and tossed the sheets aside, running from the room.

Several moments passed before he realized she was missing. The only reason he noticed was because he couldn't hear her soft murmurs and breathing he'd become so accustomed to. When they weren't there, he couldn't sleep. Groggily tossing the sheets to the other side of the bed, he yawned and made his way down the hall to where he could hear Kotoko's soft crying. Outside the bathroom door, the younger man tapped on the door. "Kotoko, may I come in?"

She whimpered something before retching again, causing him to flinch significantly. "Irie-Kun…"

Slipping through the door, he closed it quietly behind him and closed the distance between them. "Kotoko," He whispered, wrapping his arms around her from behind. "You're going to be okay."

"I'm so hungry, but I can't keep anything down," She whispered, voice cracking. "Why does the baby sap all my energy?"

He laughed lightly and pulled her hair back for her, brushing a hand through it. He wasn't the sentimental type, but she needed a smile. "Kotoko, that's what babies are good for. And you know she's going to be a huge ball of energy, just because you are. There is no winning this situation," He answered reluctantly, kissing the top of her head. "Now, let's get you ready for work."

"I'm not going, remember?" She inquired haphazardly, expecting him to be upset with her since she wasn't going. He was the type to expect her to go, no matter what. But today she couldn't. She wouldn't. She just couldn't bring herself to do it. She felt so weak. "Irie-kun, if Moto-Chan asks where I am, please don't worry him. He doesn't know yet."

"I don't talk to your friends," Naoki replied, standing to his feet. And just like that, the cold exterior was back.

* * *

Throughout the day, Naoki couldn't help but check his watch constantly. He was far too excited about the appointment with Kotoko, and since it was at the hospital, he didn't have to go very far as it was. He smiled throughout the day, his normal smirk vanishing. It wasn't until Motoki stopped him in the hall to ask what had him so happy.

Naoki couldn't lie. He was far too happy.

He paused and thought about the repercussions. Worth it. "Kotoko is pregnant."

The subsequent squeal that resounded through the hall was sure to have made his ears bleed, but that didn't stop him from smiling smugly. "How far along? Boy or girl? Is she glowing yet? I bet she's positively radiant. Oh your baby would be so cute. You're a handsome man, after all. Handsome men make adorable babies."

"Motoki…"

The man stopped mid sentence and stared at Naoki, his deep voice trailing off. "Yes, Doctor Irie?"

"Please don't mention this to anyone else. Kotoko asked me to keep it a secret for a little while longer. I just…it was too exciting for me to keep a secret." He looked at his watch again. "I'm going to miss her appointment, I have to get going."

As he came through the hall, a deep voice interrupted his thoughts. Standing at the end of the hall was the head surgeon, watching Naoki with a deep fascination. "Doctor Irie, I need a word with you."

Pausing in his steps, he knew he wouldn't be allowed out of this one so easily. He stood a little straighter and made his way back to the man's office, checking his watch the entire time. _Can this go a little quicker? My wife is waiting for me…_

* * *

Kotoko sat outside the doctor's office, twirling a pen down as she jotted down notes in her notebook. Several thoughts crossed her mind, scribbling them down as she went along. There were murmurs from the women around her, asking why she looked so depressed. One woman even ventured that she was having an abortion. Kotoko didn't breathe a word about it. Instead, she kept writing in her notebook.

Her appointment had been over for ten minutes now, and she feared Naoki just wasn't going to show up. It hurt to know that she was so insignificant, he couldn't even be bothered to be there for one of her most important days ever. The ginger haired girl began to cry softly when she heard a door close.

"Kotoko?" Naoki closed the distance and knelt beside her. "Did you go in yet?"

She nodded hesitantly and closed her eyes. "Yes. Where were you? You came in late." The murmurs of the mothers got louder and Kotoko began to feel like she was a bug under a microscope. That's the second time he'd managed to embarrass her in front of the whole hospital. She looked away, feeling like she was being treated like a child. "Irie-kun, if this isn't very important to you, say so. I waited for you, if you didn't want to come it would have been fine. I can handle myself."

Suddenly the rumors got more frequent, one lady announcing maybe a little too loud, the idea of an abortion. Naoki heard this, his voice dropping to a low, sultry whisper. "Kotoko, ignore their stares. What's important is that I know you would never do something so reckless. Clumsy, maybe, but never reckless." The other women stopped talking for a few moments before he addressed her again. "You're my wife, and you made me proud standing up to me today. But this is important to me – just like seeing you pass your nursing exams – just like seeing you be successful and graduating. It's all important to me. I know you'll never do anything to intentionally harm the child."

Kotoko nodded sadly and pushed to her feet, closing the notebook and tucking it under her arm. "Why were you late?"

"I had an appointment with my advisor that I couldn't back out of. I'm so sorry, Kotoko, I wanted to be here." He hoped that she would understand, but he of all people knew how irrational she could get when she was upset. He didn't need a diary to be reminded of the night she left him. "Kotoko, I promise I'll take the day off the next appointment. Will you do the honor of accompanying me to lunch?"

The wife smiled brightly, laughing. "Of course I'll go to lunch with you."

* * *

Kotoko climbed back into bed around five, just before Naoki came home from work. She curled up in the blanket and stared at the wall, wondering if it would be getting better or worse. For now, she felt like her life was getting worse. She watched the clouds pass by outside the window, wondering where her husband was, what lucky patient he was working on.

"Kotoko, are you sure you're okay? I could call Onii-chan and have him look at you." The brunette woman inquired.

"No, it's okay, I don't want to bother him at work," Kotoko commented, rolling to her side so she was facing the wall. She didn't think much of it, but when it came down to it, Naoki was a surgeon, he didn't need her on his mind. He could mess up if she worried him. Instead, she quietly withdrew into herself and plastered a smile to pretend everything was okay.

"Alright, if you're sure…but you haven't eaten today, Kotoko, isn't that bad for your health?"

There was a closing door in the second floor, followed by a man announcing he was home. Kotoko sat up rather quickly and re-dressed, pretending nothing was wrong. "Mama, just pretend nothing is wrong, okay? I'll talk to Irie-kun later. Don't worry him, okay?"

Mama nodded and looked over at Kotoko. "What are you going to do?"

Kotoko ran to the desk and pretended to write in her notebook. "Pretend I was working all day."

"Isn't that lying?" Mama inquired skeptically.

"Please don't worry him." Kotoko whispered. "He doesn't need that on his mind right now."

Naoki stepped into the room and peered at Kotoko, snatching the notebook from her. "You don't have to pretend, Kotoko. You and mama talk fairly loud, you know."

She looked down sadly, her voice small and tiny in the room. "I just got a little dizzy and fell, but it's okay."

His expression changed to one of shock. "You fell? How far? Did you see a doctor?"

She looked down at her hands. "I just tripped coming inside, I'm fine. I didn't see a doctor."

He grabbed her wrist and looked at his watch. "We need to get you looked at. Please, Kotoko, at least for my sake?" He then turned to his mother. "Mama, why didn't you tell me that she fell?"

"I didn't want to concern you. She seems fine." She replied casually.

Naoki let out a deep breath and looked away. "It's not Kotoko I'm worried about."

* * *

They arrived at the hospital a few hours later, nearing seven. Radiology was closed, so he didn't know what else to do. He stopped her from pacing and brought her up to the maternity ward. At least they would be open. Kotoko went into the appointment alone, leaving him behind. It wasn't because she wanted to, but because they had asked.

Naoki leaned against the wall and closed his eyes, finally feeling a sense of helplessness wash over him. Never in his life had he feared for anything, but now, now he felt like the world was out of his hands. Even with all his medical knowledge, he couldn't have prevented this from happening. "Kotoko…you idiot."

He prepared for the worst, already knowing the statistics and charts. The likelihood was far too low at this stage of the pregnancy, and he knew that their child probably wouldn't make it. He already decided that he would make sure to be there for her, but also bury himself in his work so he didn't have to think about it. His foolishness caused this. She was clumsy, he should have stayed with her.

He lied when he said it wasn't Kotoko he was concerned for. He did worry about her. All the time; and he knew what kind of impact this would have on her – but in his heart, he wanted to believe it would all be okay. Their baby would be fine, and he could go about worrying about her like he usually did. The man slid down the wall and brought his knees up to his chest, closing his eyes. The cool tile felt welcoming.

It was several moments before Kotoko stepped out of the room, her hand still gingerly touching the door. "Naoki?"

He looked up, knowing she would _never _call him that unless it was something serious. Fear clutched his heart like icy tendrils of death. He didn't want to think about it. His mind shut down. She knelt down beside him and opened her arms up to him. For some reason, he felt like it was okay to cry. He would never show tears in front of her, but this was one exception, and he felt okay about it. Trembling in her arms, he barely heard her whispered words; _she's okay…our baby is okay_.

"She's thick headed, like her mama," Kotoko explained with a tiny semblance of a smile. The tears turned to those of joy, and for a moment, Kotoko felt helpless. He needed to do this, he was so stressed and worried – it was nice to let it go once in a while. Gently taking his hand, she placed it on her abdomen. "Feel her? She's saying hello to her daddy. She's saying _papa, don't worry, I'm okay. Mama takes good care of me_."

"Kotoko," Naoki began, his voice raspy from tears. "You idiot."


	3. Sudden Change In Plans

Kotoko moved to her side, her hand softly resting over her still-small stomach in a protective manner. Irie couldn't help but watch her as she slept, amused by the soft mumbles and expressions she made in her sleep. He propped himself up on his elbow, staring over at her while she was content in her dreamlike state. His alarm had gone off half an hour ago - but he didn't want to move from that spot.

"Kotoko," He whispered softly, brushing his hand over her hair gently. She didn't stir. This was the first night she'd slept entirely until morning without any bouts of morning sickness, he almost didn't want to interrupt her slumber. "Eh, Kotoko."

The woman moved onto her back, her amber eyes still shut in her sleep. She murmured something about studying for an exam, and then moved back to her side.

A soft smile crossed Irie's lips as he sat up and scooted from the bed, looking for something to wear for the day. As he picked up the clothes and went to the shower, he stole another look over at his wife.

When he returned from the shower, he was honestly surprised to find her sitting on the edge of the bed, staring off into a trance at the floor. For a moment he was concerned that she was sick, or stunned, but then he noticed her softly muttering to herself. Moving the towel to put it in the hamper beside the door, he smiled down at Kotoko. "Good morning, sleepyhead. What are you doing?"

She looked up at him with watery eyes. Concern filled his heart. "I had a nightmare that I lost the baby. I was just reassuring her that everything was okay and I wouldn't let her go without a fight."

Suddenly he felt guilty for not waking her. Sitting beside her on the bed, her snaked his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close, kissing the top of her head. "Well, I won't let anything happen to either of you, so I guess it's fair to say that she has it pretty well off already." With a quiet gaze, he looked down at his wife's trembling body as she started softly crying. "Kotoko, I promise."

"But you can't make that promise. There's so many complications, so many things that could go wrong. You don't know." She sniffled and ran her sleeve under her eyes, shaking her head. "Look at what happened a month ago - all I did was trip. I _tripped_ Irie-Kun! That's all it was! And she could have died then!"

"This is about your mom, isn't it?" Part of him already knew he didn't have to ask, but her trembles grew more fierce and he could tell she was going to start wailing soon. "Hey, Kotoko." Repositioning his hands so they were on both of her shoulders, he slid from the bed and sat on one knee, staring up at her. "I don't want you to be upset. I hate it when you cry."

"Funny, considering you're the one whose always making me cry!"

These must be the mood swings mother warned him about.

"Kotoko, listen to me. I won't let anything happen to you; I'll be with you every single step of the way. You have nothing to worry about. Science has advanced since you were born, I'm sure the complications your mother faced can be overcome…" Come to think of it, Irie didn't actually know how she died. "…Kotoko, how did your mother die?"

She wiped her eyes again and looked down at him sadly, her hair falling to frame her face and cover her eyes. "She had a disorder that they classified as Preclampsia. She went into a coma after having a seizure just before I was born. She died on the operating table." Kotoko whispered softly, trying not to look him in the eye.

How did he not know that? He looked at his wife with wide eyes, filtering through all of his medical knowledge for the little bits of facts he knew about delivering babies. Typically, it would start with the woman passing out, followed by seizures. During the point of the seizures, the oxygen levels to the fetus were greatly reduced, often resulting in miscarriage, or developmental damage. His grip around her arms increased slightly when he realized her fears. Not a word was spoken.

"Irie-Kun, you're hurting me."

He stayed quiet, as if not hearing her.

She yanked her arms away and looked down at him. "Stop! That hurt!"

"I…" He paused and looked up at her, allowing his hands to drop to his sides. "…sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you. Kotoko, why isn't this listed in your medical history?"

"It's not genetic - they told my dad when he asked that I wouldn't be at risk for it…"

Irie shook his head rapidly. "No. That's wrong. There have been genetic indicators of it; it is possible that it's hereditary, but it hasn't been proven." His hands moved to take hers into his own. He squeezed her hands reassuringly, his voice stiff. "I won't let that happen to you."

"You can't prevent it." She whispered sadly. "If it happens, it happens. There's nothing we can do…but, at least you'll have the baby to remind you of me."

Stillness filled the air and wafted between them, causing him to shake with anger. "I wouldn't want to keep her if you died. I wouldn't even want to look at her. It would be an awful reminder of how much I failed to do the one thing I do best."

"That's a terrible attitude to have about your child!" Kotoko shrieked.

He stood suddenly and looked at his wife. "So it's fair for you to assume you're going to die, and already start planning a funeral, but I'm not allowed to be a little concerned about you? Kotoko, you're being irrational. Nothing is going to happen like that, I promise. You haven't shown symptoms of it yet, and you would have by now. It's a disorder that only affects you when you're pregnant - you're already four months along." He turned away from her, prepared to leave if she started yelling.

She stood to her feet, though a bit shaky, and stared at him through clouded amber eyes, rationality going out the window by this point. "_Irrational_! You think I'm being _irrational_?!" She shouted, her hands becoming fists at her sides. "It's a _legitimate fear_, and I'm incredibly worried about it and if you can't respect that then-"

"-then what?" He demanded, not turning around. When he noticed her lack of an answer, he spun on his heel to see her wide eyed, panicked look. "Kotoko? Are you alright?"

Her hands suddenly shot to her stomach and wrapped around, she still didn't utter a word to him. Suddenly concerned, he ran to her side and ushered her to sit back down. "Kotoko. Tell me what's wrong."

"It's the baby…" She whispered, her voice hollow.

He suddenly felt very sick. What if she did have a problem he didn't know about, and he was the cause of her miscarriage. "I'll take you to the hospital, let's get you dressed."

"No, I…she moved." Kotoko continued, her voice softening slowly. "I…never felt her move before."

His hands froze, looking to where her hands were resting. Gently moving her hands away from her stomach, he lay his over top, splaying his fingers out. Sure enough, wriggling around was a tiny entity. He barely smiled. "We're going to be parents."

"The fighting needs to stop." She murmured.

He nodded and kissed her head, his hand still resting on her stomach. "I know. And I'm sorry. I didn't mean to cause you pain. I just…I think it's irrational to be afraid of something you don't even know you have."

"You're the doctor, I'm sure you know best." She whispered, her index finger trailing along her abdomen to see the baby send soft ripples through her tummy. "I'm going to be fascinated with this for a long time."

"Or at least the next five months," He commented with a soft laugh. "Doesn't it hurt?"

"Not at all. It actually tickles a bit. It's like a…fluttering, like - you know the soft ripples in water? It kind of feels like that." She explained, seeing his look change to one of wonder. "I'll be actually _showing _soon."

"You're showing now," He answered, without moving his gaze to meet hers. "It's a tiny insignificant change that no one else would notice, but I do."

"You feel an immense sense of pride, don't you?" Kotoko questioned, kissing his hair. He nodded and smiled, suddenly fascinated with the child growing within her. "It's like playing with a toy for you, huh?"

"I don't think you realize how much joy I feel right now. You totally derailed my train; I don't even remember what I was going to say. She…she's so active. How will you be able to get anything done with that fluttering all the time?"

Kotoko shrugged and moved from his grasp, suddenly getting his attention back. His hands fell and he looked disappointed. "Don't give me that look, I have to get ready for work."

"Will you be okay?" Came his soft words from his position on the floor. "I want to be the first one called if anything happens to you. No more hiding it to make me less worried; got it?"

She nodded and looked over at him. "Go to work, you'll be late."

A quick glance at his watch verified that he was already late, but he gave her a quick peck on the cheek and ran out the door. "You be careful walking to work today!"

Kotoko held her cell phone over her head and waved it around a bit. "I have my phone, I'll call you if I need help. I swear on it."

* * *

Even though he knew Kotoko would tell him if anything was wrong, part of him wondered why she was late coming into work. He had asked Moto-can a few times if Kotoko had come in yet, but the answer was always the same. Even around lunch time, when the head nurse addressed him about her mysterious absence without calling, he felt concern wash over him.

It wasn't until he saw his wife, pale faced and dizzy, that he finally understood what had happened. He opened his arms to catch her before she fell. "Morning sickness?"

She nodded sadly. "I don't think it ever goes away."

"Apparently not, in some cases." He quietly observed her posture, then brushed a hand over her hair. "Kotoko, I think you might be sick with a little more than that. You're running a fever."

"This sounds familiar," She grumbled.

He shook his head. "Go home. I'll tell the head nurse what happened. You're staying with mother. You're sick."

"I'm fine." She protested.

"You just spent five hours on the floor of the bathroom, you're most certainly not fine." Guiding her by the shoulders to a bench, he sat her down and knelt in front of her to check her over. "That's what I thought. You're sick. I think you might have the flu. Go home, I'll tell mother to schedule you an appointment with your gynecologist." He paused and thought about it. "You know what, never mind."

"Irie-kun…?"

"Stay here, I don't want you moving around a whole lot." As he walked away, she stared at his retreating form in silence.

She began to fall asleep when he came back, dressed in street clothes, and grabbed her arm. "Lets go."

"Go? Go where?" She questioned half-heartedly.

"To your gynecologist." He smirked. "I knew you wouldn't go home if I told you to, so I'm going to make you go home. I'm going to stay home with you until you decide to listen to me."

"But, you can't do that, Irie-kun! What about your patients?!"

"I've learned to have a lot of patience when dealing with you," he grumbled. "You're like a child. I shouldn't have to tell you how to properly take care of yourself."

"Irie-kun, stop!" She yanked her arm from his and looked up at him, drawing a crowd suddenly. "Stop treating me like an infant. I can schedule my own appointments, I can go to them by myself, and I can take care of myself."

"If you can take care of yourself, Kotoko, then why are you sick?" Anger laced his voice when he noticed a crowd was starting to form. He didn't want to call her out, or treat her like a child; but the way she was taking care of herself was awful. "We're going to the appointment."

Finally, sucking up her pride and lowering her head in shame, she agreed to his demands.

* * *

Irie was standing in the corner of the office leaning against the wall, his foot propped against it, his arms folded over his chest. His head was bowed; he and Kotoko weren't talking while the doctor made the diagnosis. He had many things he wanted to say to her, but none of them were appropriate in public.

"Well, it seems as though you were correct, Dr. Irie. Your wife seems to have the flu." The woman paused and scribbled down on a prescription pad. "I will suggest that you be very wary, dehydration can be dangerous to the child. But because of her pregnancy, I can't offer any of the typical flu remedies," The gynecologist began, staring at the defiant looking man in the corner, knowing that with Kotoko's past history with forgetfulness, it probably wasn't a good idea to tell all of this to her. "What I can suggest is acetaminophen for the fever, mint tea for the sore throat and cough - which may help with the nausea, staying hydrated, stick to soup for a few days, and fresh air."

Irie nodded and looked at his wife. "Thank you, Dr. Miller." As he moved to leave, he noticed that she didn't seem to be moving very quickly from her spot and instead just stayed on the exam table, her hand pressed ever so gingerly to her stomach. "Ah, while we're here, there's something else I'd like to address."

The woman nodded and tilted her head at Kotoko. "I'm going to go on a limb here and assume it's about the baby or her clumsiness."

Irie sighed and looked to his wife again, knowing she wasn't going to speak up about the issue. "It was recently brought to my attention that Kotoko's mother died of pre-eclampsia. She fears that it might be genetic, but so far she hasn't shown any symptoms. Is it possible to test for it?"

Dr Miller nodded and tapped her pen to her lip. "I could do a blood pressure reading, but it would likely be easier to determine if I could get a urine sample. Her blood pressure seemed to be okay last time I took the test."

Irie nodded, his voice low as he looked at Kotoko. She was distant, staring at her stomach the whole time. "Kotoko, can you do that? Give the doctor a urine sample?"

She nodded. "Yes, that's fine."

* * *

Irie woke when his cell phone started to buzz off the nightstand. He checked the time to see it was six in the morning, on his day off. Wondering if it could be work calling, and seeing that the number came up as the hospital, he yawned and picked up the phone. "Hello?"

"Dr. Irie? Hi, it's Dr. Miller from the gynecological department, I tried to reach your wife but she wasn't answering."

That explained why her cell phone was flashing on the nightstand. He sighed and didn't question it, knowing that she was tired and needed to sleep. Especially with being sick. "Yes, did her results come in?" He sat up so he could hear what the doctor had to say, without disturbing his wife's sleeping form. He likely wouldn't be going back to sleep after this anyway.

"He urinalysis came back at 304mg putting her above the diagnosed levels of dangerous Proteinuria." The woman calmly explained. "When tested, her blood pressure reading was 142/93."

He calmly looked over at his wife, words failing him. That was still only one positive diagnosis out of two possible outcomes. She still didn't meet the other criteria, so that meant she was still clear, right? "What does this mean for her?"

"You're a doctor, don't you know?"

"Forgive me, my emotions are a little overbearing right now. I don't think I have ever really felt _fear _like this before." he explained, his voice calm and rational.

The doctor sighed and continued to speak. "Right now, since she doesn't have any symptoms of hypertension, I wouldn't be very concerned. Her BP may change in the next few days, so it shouldn't be something to be too concerned with. The results of her BP may actually even be significantly higher because of the flu. I would really just suggest keeping a close eye on her, and if she gets any worse or starts to show symptoms of anything else, bring her in right away. If she does start to show more symptoms, the only way we can save her and the baby is via cesarean or abortion, and even that is dependent on her medical history."

He looked down as the doctor hung up, sliding from the bed. He wouldn't wake her. Keeping a calm façade, he told his mother to keep an eye on Kotoko for a while, and explained to her to call him if anything in her condition changed. With sadness weighing heavy on his heart, he went to a nearby park and sat down on the bench, closing his eyes and hanging his head. He had never really shown Kotoko just how much he cared for her; what if he never got that chance? Even as a doctor, he knew what the possibility of one positive test was. If she had one, it was highly likely she had the other. If it came down to it, was he really prepared to abort his child to save her life? Even then, she was too far along in her pregnancy to really decide that. Running his hands through his hair, he closed his eyes and began to cry softly.

So much for that damn promise.

* * *

_I'm sorry about not updating as frequently. I just started a nursing program, so I'm going to try and add some more medical knowledge and depth to this story. I was thinking about how upset he got when she ended up in the hospital for hypertension, and I realized how realistic it would be if this was a legitimate problem for her. Kotoko's father did mention that her mother died, but he never actually mentioned how. So. Here goes. =)_


End file.
